Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
