this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
