that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
