Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
