At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do herpes really smell.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
