that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just gargled with NyQuil
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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