shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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