Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
