haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
