Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
