I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
