Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
