those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize