The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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