I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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