yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
