I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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