yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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