I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
