she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
