I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you mean i was at the winter classic?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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