Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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