you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
