try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
