I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
