Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
