What did we do last night that was yellow?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
