we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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