When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
