i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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