I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this will be a night to untag.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
