I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
