She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have aggressive nipples.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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