she woke up with a sticky ear
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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