What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
