so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize