a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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