i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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