Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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