Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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