a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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