i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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