just come out here and I will go home with you...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
