around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
