i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
