My friends, they love my intelligence
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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