i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
