Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
