its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
