I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
