Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
