Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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