she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
