He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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