You made me cry and you don't even care
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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