I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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