I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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