tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
