You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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