Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
being pregnant is like rehab
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
